About Me, as a Person

 

About Me, as a Person

 

I am about to have a big birthday. My age used to worry me. I remember always asking kids on the beach how old they were, and comparing myself with them. As I got older I realised that comparing myself with others was unhelpful.

 

There will always be someone prettier. There will always be someone smarter. There will always be someone younger. But they will never be you

 

I started off working life as a legal secretary in London. Loved the high life. Chauffeur driven cars, fancy lunches and expensive dinners.

 

As most things, this did not last. I got married in my early twenties and three children soon followed. I became a wife and mum and lost a bit of ‘me’.

 

My father died when I was in my mid-thirties and this was the first time I started to think about life and how precious it was, and how important it was to make the most of opportunities, because we don’t know how long we have. I also thought about the impact my father had on the lives of other people; how people always felt valued and that they always felt he was happy to see them.

 

I saw my 30s out by having my first experience of counselling. I had issues from my childhood which needed resolving if I was to function as a human being. These sessions also helped me to realise that my marriage was not as it should be. I worked on this in several ways but eventually decided to leave my husband. At the time this was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made, and I believe with children, it is never going to be the perfect time.

 

I then decided to learn more about counselling, recognising the impact it had on my life. I initially did a 10 week introductory course, soon followed by a year of level 2 skills, and a year of level 2 studies. By now I realised this was the path I wanted to follow.

 

I met, then later married, my second husband. Time and money were short and my studies had to go on hold, but I didn’t lose sight of the dream. I worked in a primary school for 14 years, and a local supermarket. I learned more about what makes people tick; I could see how giving people a voice, and listening to them made a huge difference to them. I realised I couldn’t always ‘fix’ other people’s problems, but I could help them manage them.

My children got older and left home. My mother became unwell and needed a lot of love and care, which was not easy while working two jobs, but fortunately she lived nearby.

 

Eventually she passed away and I found myself having more time and was able to resume my studies. I passed level 3 counselling and then went on to do a degree getting a first class BA(Hons) in counselling. My first placement was with Place2Be working with children in Tower Hamlets, London. I then worked at Changing Pathways working with children and women who had been affected by domestic violence. I am a staff counsellor at Harp, a local homeless charity, and volunteered both for Affordable Therapy and for South East and Central Essex Mind.

 

In 2017 I decided to take the plunge and set up private practice, working from home. It’s not a huge practice, but I love my work. I love seeing people move from a place of unhappiness or anxiety into a place where they can manage their emotions and see their world more clearly and from a happier perspective.

 

So, in my twenties - I lost my youthful independence, but gained a family
In my thirties - I lost everything I knew, but gained the beginning of finding me again
In my forties - I began to lose my children as they grew independent, but gained perspective
In my fifties - I lost my mother, but gained a degree, a new career, and became a grandmother
So, the next chapter. What will my sixties bring? …

 

Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path

Registered Member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy

 

ACTO Professional Member

ACTO Professional Member

 

Accredited Registrant of the National Counselling Society

Accredited Voluntary Register

 

Certified Cyber Therapist (CCT)

 

The Foundation for Infant Loss Training - Accredited Professional

 

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