I am about to have a big birthday. My age used to worry me. I remember always asking kids on the beach how old they were, and comparing myself with them. As I got older I realised that comparing myself with others was unhelpful.

I started off working life as a legal secretary in London. Loved the high life. Chauffeur driven cars, fancy lunches and expensive dinners.

As most things, this did not last. I got married in my early twenties and three children soon followed. I became a wife and mum and lost a bit of ‘me’.

My father died when I was in my mid-thirties and this was the first time I started to think about life and how precious it was, and how important it was to make the most of opportunities, because we don’t know how long we have. I also thought about the impact my father had on the lives of other people; how people always felt valued and that they always felt he was happy to see them.

I saw my 30s out by having my first experience of counselling. I had issues from my childhood which needed resolving if I was to function as a human being. These sessions also helped me to realise that my marriage was not as it should be. I worked on this in several ways but eventually decided to leave my husband. At the time this was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made, and I believe with children, it is never going to be the perfect time.

I then decided to learn more about counselling, recognising the impact it had on my life. I initially did a 10 week introductory course, soon followed by a year of level 2 skills, and a year of level 2 studies. By now I realised this was the path I wanted to follow.

I met, then later married, my second husband. Time and money were short and my studies had to go on hold, but I didn’t lose sight of the dream. I worked in a primary school for 14 years, and a local supermarket. I learned more about what makes people tick; I could see how giving people a voice, and listening to them made a huge difference to them. I realised I couldn’t always ‘fix’ other people’s problems, but I could help them manage them.

My children got older and left home. My mother became unwell and needed a lot of love and care, which was not easy while working two jobs, but fortunately she lived nearby.

Eventually she passed away and I found myself having more time and was able to resume my studies. I passed level 3 counselling and then went on to do a degree getting a first class BA(Hons) in counselling. My first placement was with Place2Be working with children in Tower Hamlets, London. I then worked at Changing Pathways working with children and women who had been affected by domestic violence. I am a staff counsellor at Harp, a local homeless charity, and volunteered both for Affordable Therapy and for South East and Central Essex Mind.

In 2017 I decided to take the plunge and set up private practice, working from home. It’s not a huge practice, but I love my work. I love seeing people move from a place of unhappiness or anxiety into a place where they can manage their emotions and see their world more clearly and from a happier perspective.

So, in my twenties - I lost my youthful independence, but gained a family
In my thirties - I lost everything I knew, but gained the beginning of finding me again
In my forties - I began to lose my children as they grew independent, but gained perspective
In my fifties - I lost my mother, but gained a degree, a new career, and became a grandmother
So, the next chapter. What will my sixties bring? …